Don’t be fooled by Don’s friendly demeanor. If you make fun of Andy Williams there will be hell to pay.
This week on THE GIST OF IT, Bill Hayes and Don Landry get all Christmassy and stuff. Don smokes a pipe through the whole thing, to feel more like Bing Crosby. Bill wears a dickie under a thin synthetic sweater, because he loves Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation. Among this week’s topics: Christmas music and the money it makes, the scourge of the phrase “Happy Holidays,” Alec Baldwin’s reported airline meltdown, those Commies also known as The Muppets, and blocking idiots on Twitter.
Segment 1 – Bill trots out his exceptional skills of poetry to salute Herman Cain’s departure from the American political landscape. He IS gone, right?
Segment 2 – The guys explore the possibility that the Muppets are dirty Commies. Plush puppets of the proletarian struggle. Beware of soft, cuddly Bolsheviks, people.
Segment 3 – Oh, Alec. Alec Baldwin is kicked off an American Airlines flight. Embarrassing for him and embarrassing for the other Baldwin brothers, who we assume were right there in their jobs as baggage handlers.
Segment 4 – Why is blocking a jerk from your Twitter account seen as some kind of unfair censorship? Shouldn’t you have the right to revoke a person’s right to send you insulting messages? #whateverdude
Segment 5 – Okay. Here’s where we start to get Christmassy. Complaining about too much Christmas music too early? Liar! You love it. Bill has data to prove it. This is also where Bill almost meets his maker because he shoots Don a look of scorn when the name Andy Williams comes up.
Segment 6 – Don and Bill argue over the phrase “Happy Holidays.” Bill thinks it ruins Christmas. Don thinks it’s much ado about next to nothing.
Segment 7 – A teacher in Michigan got into trouble when she changed the lyrics of “Deck The Hall,” when having trouble keeping students from giggling when they got to “gay apparel,” in choir rehearsals. Went with “bright apparel.” Uh-oh. It’s still okay to go “dashing through the snow,” isn’t it?